Buses Are As Relative As Humanity

We always tried to explain. Coincidences, future, accidents, reasons, thoughts, life. We always tried to explain.

Is there any location around your brain where I can find any subjective answer of why thousands of noises run through my vains? Is there any coexistential crisis that I'm not seeing? 

I was waiting for the bus earlier in the afternoon; I was carrying my favorite stuff I like to get when it takes too long to arrive: chocolate, fruit juice, cereal and milk. Buses are as relative as humanity, they are always too late or too early, at a point to miss both of them. I'm never too late, or too early; sometimes I'm not even there, I'm out or in, too far or too close. Buses are as relative as humanity. 

I feel every human being had been in my position, were you know where you are and how you are and at the same time you don't really exist, you are really not there. Are you? Not, you are not. Right?

Don't be, please. Not right now.

It takes time to find out that time is out, that time is human's creation, built with their own hands and organizational thoughts of having everything anally ordered. Time must be everyone's reason to be where you are right now and know what you are right now. Time must be everyone's eyes to see the wrongness of emptiness and desolation; or at least that's what time makes me think  whenever the bus takes too long to arrive or takes nothing to arrive.

There's nothing wrong in darkness, there's nothing wrong. Sometimes, I scare my mother, or my friends, or even myself; how long a lot of my thoughts may stay in my mind, I have no idea. I tend to remember every single feeling someone caused me and every single feeling I've caused myself for sixteen years now, I can't help it. Feelings are colors that tender the visual eye to creation and imagination, and off course my treat for the new society that surrounds me.  So, there's nothing wrong in darkness. It might be in hate, or in jealousy; but that's not darkness. That's human selfishness, one of the most horrible qualities that we happen to have, one of the most hard thoughts that we happen to keep through a lifetime until we die, if it doesn't kill us first.

Humanity is as relative as the buses. I wish waiting for the mystery of after life didn't took that long, or that fast. A frustration of a composition in my mind tells me I should express death in a inexistent reality, where I can play God and agree with each individual and their desire of how long they want to stay here, that way people who really want to experience and live the fullest wouldn't get terminal diseases and those who really don't care, could just come with trust and illusion to give them the opportunity to open the doors to the after life. After all, if I play God, I would know for a fact what is next. I should express death in a inexistent reality, like a film. 

A film in my early 20s of love, hate, death, desire, illusion, work, war, dreams, animals, men, women, huge buildings, food, sea, space, science, religion, selfishness, jealousy, relativism, objectivism, subjectivism, activism, emptiness, lightness, darkness, pain, murder, colors, music, composition, life, death, reasons, fear, enjoyment, confusion, time, time, time, time.